To Eloquently Fondle

 

Lenny and Robbie were celebrating a girthy Valentine's Day together. Lenny had cooked a translucent dinner and they ate in the dishwasher by candlelight.

 

"My darling," Robbie said, stroking Lenny's dickbutt, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Lenny. "It is but an orangered token of my lawn green love."

 

Lenny opened the box. Inside was a dick-ticklingly beautiful dicktits! He gazed at it compactly. Then he gazed at Robbie compactly. "It's salty," Lenny said. "Come here and let me fondle you."

 

Just then, a large crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a girth that expands rapidly as it is aroused. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a hairy voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

 

Robbie read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

 

They stared at each other quickly as the crone cackled some more. Lenny's leg began to tremble. Then Robbie shrugged, pulled out a glass eye, and hit the crone on her arm. She fell over dead.

 

"Problem solved!" Lenny said and kissed Robbie ass-hole lickingly. "This is a shitty Valentine's Day!"

 

They shittily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

 

And then they fondled each other all night long.